I am not my thoughts

I've been experimenting with the idea that my thoughts and I are separate.  This idea is new and mind-blowing to me.  I just finished reading "The Untethered Soul",  by Michael A. Singer.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

By Michael A. Singer

 In his book, Singer posits that we are no more our thoughts or feeling than we are the objects around us.  As I started to apply some of his teachings, I began to realize that I could just observe what was going on. This concept allows me to look at what I'm thinking and feeling as a scientist might look at something in her laboratory, with fascination and curiosity.  

This practice has been helpful in stopping negative thoughts from hijacking my brain and my mood. For example, on a particularly difficult drive, I observe feelings of frustration and anger. When I move to a position to observe these feelings and think... "It's interesting how a that stressful drive triggered thoughts of anger."

With this perspective the thought and feelings occur, I observe them, acknowledge them and let them pass on by. They don't stick around and they don't invite more negative thoughts and feelings in.

They just float away.
When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, I invite you to "put on your lab coat" and be a scientist. Move to place where you can observe your thoughts with curiosity and without judgements. You may find that when you observe, acknowledge, and let go, your thoughts affect you less.

Peace.

"Your thoughts are bubbles waiting to be popped."

JON KABAT-ZINN

Take time for joy

I’m finding that making time for things that inspire me is giving me great joy.  But it took awhile to get to that place.

At first, I felt a little guilty doing something that wasn't "work". I kept thinking about things that I 'should' be doing; laundry, expense reports, you know the drill.  I realized that I was not being present in the moment. So with a some effort I realized there’s no advantage in waiting for “later”.

What am I doing now that’s more important than experiencing joy?
 
Pursuing activities that bring joy is not a luxury reserved for people who are richer, thinner, smarter, or less bogged down than I am. It’s a luxury reserved for people who take the time to design a more joyful existence.
 
I invite to you to schedule an inspiring activity on our calendar this week.
And then keep that appointment.
 
It’ll feel great. I promise.

Peace.
 

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day."

HENRI J.M. NOUWEN

Question of the Week

"What can you do, right now, to get into your flow?"

Take your shoes off

I got a chance to go to the beach this past weekend. I had forgotten how much I love the feeling of sand between my toes. The visit reminded me of how great it feels to connect with nature. It also reminded me how disconnected from nature I had become. I think the last time I connected with nature was brushing up against a shrub while getting into an Uber.

Being in nature (forest, park, field, hills, beach, etc.) reminds me of beauty of our world, helps me feel gratitude that I'm am part of this world, and (like my good friend and colleague, Thom Martin preaches) it gives me a healthy perspective by gently showing me what "big" is and in contrast, how small I am.

I invite you to find a patch of nature and let it guide you to some truly mindful time. Let the bark of a tree fill you with wonder, let the sound of the wind through the trees ignite your curiosity, or look out across the ocean and wonder at the enormity of the earth's horizon.
And if you get the chance, take your shoes off.

Peace.

"There are moments when all anxiety and stated toil are becalmed by the infinite leisure and repose of nature."

Henry David Thoreau

Question of the Week

"What are you assuming about the intention of others?" 

"Could you be wrong?"

After I Create

A dear friend and mentor recently accused me of getting defensive when I talked about things that I had created. He meant it as a (loving) criticism. My initial thoughts about his comment were, "Well, Duh! It's MY creation. I noticed the ember, I coaxed it to life, I birthed it. Of course I will defend the thing that labored over and had the courage to launch into the world."

But on reflection, I noticed that I was feeling a little shameful for my reaction. This feeling seemed to stem from a lack of gratitude. Gratitude about the fact that I had found inspiration and was able to convince it to stay with me as I created. This is no small gift from the universe. To be able to create anything at all is a special thing. Yet, not only did I take for granted the act of creation, I wanted to control the impressions, thoughts, and feelings of those who encounter my creation. What hubris! 

I then remembered something I read in Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. (outstanding book, by the way) She wrote, "I can only be in charge of producing the work itself. That’s a hard enough job. I refuse to take on additional jobs, such as trying to police what anybody thinks about my work once it leaves my desk.” 

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

By Elizabeth Gilbert

Through that quote, I realized that once a thing is created, it is no longer mine. It has a life of it's own, based on the experiences of those who encounter it. No amount of explaining, debating, or rationalizing by me will truly change how it is experienced. Because creating is about the creator, the creation is about the beholder. 

I invite you to relish letting go, as much as you do creating.

Peace.

Reality Always Wins

I had one of those weeks.
You know. 
The kind of week that feels like you’re slogging through knee-deep mud?
Where it feels like everything’s more difficult than it should be?
I notice that situations like this produce stress in me.
For me, stress manifests in feelings of doubt and anger.
Needless to say, this is not where I want to be

When I notice these feelings, I use a technique called Brain Yoga to
help reset myself. 
This helps to put me back in the seat of the observer. 
Brain Yoga is a (short) data-supported breathing exercise taught
to me by a good friend, Daisy Mastroianni.
Daisy is the founder of MindfullyU, an organization dedicated to
cultivating peace

After I reset myself, I started to think about why the events of this
week produced these feelings.
Do you know what I found? There’s a clue in the 1st paragraph of
this email. I thought that the things I was working on SHOULD have
been easier.
SHOULD? Why did I think that? Regardless of what my thoughts were, 
reality was presenting me with something different.
This difference between what I thought should be and what was, 
created stress in me.

When I realized how my mindset had created this situation, I was
reminded of a quote from one of the guiding authors in my life,
Rainer Maria Rilke. The quote is: 
"Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."

So, when you feel like you’re having one of those days, I invite to
let go, stop trying to control things, and let life happen.
You might enjoy it.

Oh. Let me know if you’d like to learn that quick Brain Yoga exercise.
I’d be glad to show it to you.

Peace.

"Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."

RAINER MARIA RILKE

Question of the Week

What do you need to do to move your next meeting from tedious to fantastically useful?

Engage your curiosity

Have you ever noticed how quickly you can tell everything about a person just by one tiny bit of information? Have you ever noticed how absolutely inaccurate those pre-judgements are?

Our brains are hard wired to create judgements quickly on very little information. "That sounds like a tiger! I'm outta here." This helped us to stay alive. Today, we rarely need to run from tigers, but this brain process is still pre- judging situations and people. These pre-judgements separate us from each other and create an inaccurate view of the world.

Fortunately, this can be avoided, if we take a moment and become curious with each encounter. Just sitting with the information you can observe, without filling in the rest will keep us from pre-judging a situation or a person.

I invite you practice curiosity instead of pre-judgement today. You may have wonderfully unexpected encounter.

Peace.

We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks. That's what connects us - That we're broken. All beautifully imperfect.

Emilio Estevez

Breathtaking video

This short animation made me think about what I'm doing to encourage and protect creativity in myself and in those around me. I invite you to watch this touching video by Spanish animators Daniel Martinez Lara and Rafa Cano Mendez.

"Alike" is an animated short film directed by Daniel Martínez Lara & Rafa Cano Méndez www.alike.es SYNOPSIS: In a busy life,Copi is a father who tries to teach the right way to his son,Paste. But... what is the correct path? --- En una vida ajetreada, Copi es un padre que intenta enseñar el camino correcto a su hijo Paste.

"Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence."

Osho

Things I Think RSS

Just observe

I’d like to share with you a new mindfulness technique that I'm learning.
It's a body scanning practice called vipassana.
In this practice we slowly scan the body and observe sensation.
Sounds easy? Kinda. The challenge is to just observe the sensation.
Don't judge it as good or bad. Don't try to change it, say by scraping an itch.
Just observe.
 
In this practice, I notice that if I can remove any expectation (thinking that a certain part of my body should feel a certain way), it ceases to control me.
 
For example, if I think that my hand shouldn't itch, and I detect that my hand is itchy,  I find myself wanting to scratch it in order to get to the state of not itching. This desire and the connected action moves me out of experiencing the here-and-now.
It moves me away from experiencing and accepting life as it is.
 
I notice that this is true for me when I'm not meditating as well.
When I struggle, it's usually because what is occurring is different than what I expect should happen. And that difference causes suffering.
 
If I release myself of thinking things should be certain way and just observe, I find that I accept things the way they are and then can more easily navigate my life.
 
So, I invite you to join me today in releasing an expectation about something and just observe it. Let me know if that changes anything for you.

Peace.

"When we let go of all expectation, there is peace."

Kim Eng

Wake up

Have you ever arrived at work and can’t remember the drive?
Or, just realized that you ate a whole bag of chips while you watched The Walking Dead?
 
That, my friends, is called automaticity. It is the ability to do things without occupying the mind and it is the enemy of mindfulness.
 
This weekend, I was going into a store and was approached by a man who was asked if I had
any spare change. I automatically said, “No”.
I had some spare change in my pocket, but I was focused on the list of errands that I had
to do that day. I was not being mindful in that interaction.
 
As I walked through the store I began to think about that man. What his life must be like;
where did he sleep? When did he eat last?
 
I felt myself reconnect with compassion and on the way out of the store, we had a conversation
and I gave him some money. His name is Earl.
We agreed to meet again next Saturday.
 
I invite you to examine your responses. Did you actively choose that response, or were you on
auto-pilot?

Peace.

"It's only when we wake that we realize we were sleeping."

Unknown

Balance

I’ve come to realize that we live in a universe of give and receive, breathe and exhale, live and die,
suck and awesome.
Each side depends on the other, and each is relative to the other – every action has an equal
and opposite reaction.
 
I invite you to be mindful and look for the moments of balance in your life.

Peace.

"Life is a balance between holding on and letting go."

Rumi

Advice from Bowie

I’d like to share a tweet from Duncan Jones.
Duncan is David Bowie’s son and has a great twitter feed.
 
He tweeted a quote from his dad that resonated with where I want to be in my life.
 
I invite you to put on some Ziggy Stardust and think about what this quote stirs in you.

Peace.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

Neale Donald Walsch

Invite the elephant in

I’ve found that my practice for achieving Peace in my life has been ineffective.
To maintain my Peace, I’ve been working hard to adjust my thoughts and habits to avoid situations and people who move me from my hard-fought Peaceful place.
 
It’s kinda like trying to not think about an elephant after someone says,
“Don’t think about an elephant.”
I’ve been trying to keep the elephant out of my space.
 
Impossible and exhausting.
 
So I tried something new.
Instead of attempting to keep the elephant out of my space, I invited it in. I didn’t resist.
Just let it in and observed.
 
What do you know? That works a whole lot better.
Turns out, Peace is not about avoiding my problems (or elephants), It’s about letting them in, observing them, and letting them go.
 
I invite you to find the courage to let your elephant in.
Great things will happen when you do.

Peace.
 

"When we stop resisting and fighting our thoughts and concerns, the battle stops."

Tamara Levitt

Save the cheerleader, save yourself

I tried something new this weekend.
I took a leap. Not a physical leap.
More like a metaphysical leap.
 
I changed my perspective. I put on a different lens.
I dared to look at myself through the eyes of someone else. Someone who admires me.
 
Do you know what? They get me.
They believe in me. Not just a little, but leaps and bounds.
They aren’t connected to my insecurities and negative beliefs about myself.
They see me in my true glory and potential.
 
It was awesome!
 
I invite you to become one with one of your own die-hard fans.
Look at yourself from the outside, where all your self-doubts can’t hide the true you. Where the we can behold the authentic you shining through.
 
And, if you’re at a loss coming up with a die-hard fan, think of me.
I’m your biggest cheerleader!

Peace.
 

"You got to risk it, to get the biscuit."

Shawn Colfax (Nicholas D'Agosto) Fired Up!  - This is my favorite cheerleading movie

Fired Up!

Starring Nicholas D'Agosto, Eric Christian Olsen, Sarah Roemer, Molly Sims, Danneel Harris

Mindfulness and the Matrix

I've recently had questions about my progress in mindfulness. Am I more peaceful or centered?
Can I levitate yet? And an answer came to me from an unusual source;
the Matrix.

I've seen that movie a dozen times, but this time it seemed to give me advice about my practice.
My mindfulness practice will not be effective if I don't bring it off the mat and into real life. Practice patience while in traffic, hold a space of non-judgement while talking with a member, or being kind to myself when things do work out as I had hoped. If my practice ends when I get off the mat, then my practice cannot transform me.
 
Like Morpheus said to Neo,
"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."
 
I invite you to watch the Matrix. It might drop some knowledge on you.

Peace.
 

"I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it."

Morpheus

The Matrix

Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Joe Pantoliano

International Day of Calm

This Wednesday is International Calm Day.
 
The ability to find inner peace, to create a refuge amidst life's demands,
distractions, uncertainties, and tough times is truly powerful. 
In fact, I have come to see that summoning calm is a superpower.
 
On Wednesday, I invite you to practice your superpower.
 
I encourage you to reflect on the ways that you've cultivated calm in
your life. Consider hosting a small meditation group or try a walking
meditation at lunch. 
 
Here's a short exercise you can do right now to reach that tranquil
place that lives within you:
Think of a moment in the past where you felt at ease and content.
For 30 seconds, close your eyes, breathe deeply, picture yourself
there and remember what it felt like in your body.  
 

"Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment."

Thich Nhat Hahn

Recovering perfectionist

I used to be a perfectionist. I took pride in the anxiety it caused. I wore it as a badge of honor.
But I found that the achievement of 100% made me stressed, less productive, and not fun to be around.

Then I learned about the 80/20 rule. Which basically says that good enough and complete is better than perfect and never done. The theory is, that once you get to 80% of any project, it will take 80% of your effort and resources to achieve the final 20%.

That concept was very helpful to me in reframing my mind. It helped me to remember the goal was to complete the project, not achieve perfection.

So, as a recovering perfectionist, I invite you to think about some of the projects that you're working on. Are you looking for a perfect (non-existent) outcome? Done is better than not done. Join me in letting go of your perfectionist leanings. You'll get more done, have less stress, and be more fun. Who doesn't want that?

Peace.

"If I don't have red, I use blue."

Pablo Picasso